tiny dancer

I am sorry dear blog for neglecting you these past few days.
I just had a very stressful and emotional week. The week was basically just a series of small things that built up to an explosion of me listening to Tiny Dancer and bursting into tears. I can't explain it, but this happens to me occasionally. If I'm feeling a little down because of circumstances, and someone says something, or happens, or I hear a song, I can easily start sobbing. And then after a good cry I feel exhausted, but refreshed. And now, I am listening to Tiny Dancer free of tears. My week included cell phone breaking, alarm not working, late for work, cold bedroom, questions about where my future was going, money, pain in my foot, being completely lost in translation with 5 year olds, me crying in a restaurant.... and the list goes on I'm sure, that's just all I can think of right now. My host mom/boss knew that I had passed a tough week and was so sweet to me. She let me finish work for the day today at 14h. And when she went out today to buy her girls dresses for New Years she bought me a beautiful dress for New Years also. I adore her. She has made me feel so at home here in Paris and I am so grateful for all she has done for me. She has really made me feel like part of the family.

And now I will list some positive events from the week. Homemade tarte aux pomme, sketching, warm sweaters, new cell phone, homemade pizza, red wine, in depth conversations, warm hugs, new found music, the Christmas lights of Champs Elysees, the Christmas window displays of Galeries Lafayette, princess picnics on the kitchen floor.

As strange of a week as it was, I feel quite content right now. I've decided that right now the best way to be always happy is to just enjoy the moment and stop thinking about what I am doing next weekend, what I'm doing next month, if I can't stay in France to study etc....

Galeries Lafayette

Champs Elysees & a festive ferris wheel

if i don't get my socks on right

(dirty Keds, camera malfunctions, Paris 2008)

I was listening to Regina Spektor tonight and re-realized how amazing she is. I would really like to meet her one day. I saw her live last year in Toronto, and she had a great stage presence; the way she spoke, what she spoke about, how she sang. It was clear that there is so much of her personality in her songs. I was listening to "carbon monoxide" last night, and was trying to figure out the lyrics, so I looked them up.

(all-you-can-eat at Sushi Island, blurry photo, 2008)

"Carbon Monoxide"

Carbon monoxide
Soon I'll go to sleep
If I don't got my socks on right
They slide right off off my feet
As I walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk....


(Ted Leo and the Pharmacists concert 2007)

Carbon monoxide
As I take you home
The first time I get my socks on right
But I don't have a gas mask on
As I walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk-a, walk-a....
Walk you home
Yeah
I'm so cool, I'm so cool, I'm so cool

Come on daddy [x8]


(Sleeping vagabond.... not sure why I took a photo. Toronto 2008)

Carbon monoxide
Soon we'll go to sleep
No one will notice we're gone
Cause we don't have a job to keep
They'll just say that we're being lazy
Sex crazy, sex cra-zazy
They'll just say we're living our whole life in bed
And we'll be in bed but we'll be oh so very much
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a....
Yeah
But we're so cool, we're so cool, we're so cool
Dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a, dead-a....
Dead
But we're still cool, we're still cool, we're still cool


(walking in a back parking lot near Kensington Market, Toronto 2008)

Come on, come on, come on daddy
Come on daddy, come on daddy....
Come on, come on, come on, come on

Carbon monoxide [x2]

(one of the first days of Spring 2007. A park in Toronto by Union
Station.....the name of the park escapes me.)

Only Regina Spektor could sing "come on daddy" 50 times and "dead-a" and "walk-a" in a song and still make it sound beautiful.

These photos are all really bad, I know. But I am running out of space on my hardrive and have been doing some major deleting of photos. Before removing them completely by emptying the recycle bin I double checked to be certain I wasn't deleting any good photos. Anway, these are the photos I rescued. They are not very good, but for some reason I deemed them worthy of staying on my computer.

(Lucy from the first filming of
"the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe".
1970 something I suppose.)

another delicious reason to never leave france

Tonight my friend/french-english conversation partner and I went for dessert at Chez Justine. He has impeccable taste in restaurants; great ambiance, not too expensive, and great food and drinks. We ordered chocolat chaude, (dark chocolate of course), and fresh whipped cream. Let me tell you, how the French have a very different concept of "a hot chocolate". They are quite literally made of HOT chocolate. Please take your time imagining.... thick and creamy, just melted dark chocolate, with cream added to it. Then topped with fresh whipped cream and sprinkled with dark cocoa. Yes, this is for real. No cheap North American packages of hot chocolate mixed with water. I was telling my friend about this over messager last night and had her drooling on her keyboard.

my friend - fish
me - cat

fish says:
yummmmmmm
fish says:
i watched a show once where they talked about french hot chocolate and it looked amazing! that sounds sooooooo friggen good
cat says:
this accompanied by tarte au pomme (apple pie) with buttery fresh pastry and mmmm apples topped with real french vanilla ice cream (not chapmans)
cat says:
and a glass of red wine
cat says:
we are going here when you come to paris.
cat says:
and when i visit you we will make real hot chocolate
fish says:
ohhhhh my
fish says:
that sounds sooooooo good
fish says:
my mouth is actually salivating
cat says:
mine too, and i already ate this tonight

le fin

Chez Justine
96, rue Oberkampf - 75011 Paris
Métro Menilmontant/ Parmentier.

I don't think I would last very long back in Canada before going through delicious-French-food and beautiful-bar withdrawal. (and also beautiful-French-boyfriend withdrawal too).

how to look incredibly un-french and other pieces from a carefree friday

salut les pote!

(that translates to something like "hi-ya folks!" in english).
I would never actually walk up to a group of French people and say that (a second time anyway....).

Re-cap of the week time! I worked 12 hour days both Wednesday and Thursday taking care of 3 children, with occasional visits from their friends. Needless today.... je suis très fatigue. But my boss is incredibly kind, and gave me Friday off. Merci beaucoup! Friday was spent sleeping in until a well deserved 12:30. The only reason I actually woke up was because I was staying at my boyfriends, and he had class at 13h. Otherwise I think we both could have continued sleeping straight through to the next day. It's winter, it's our natural instinct to hibernate, no? I went to Rue de Rivoli to search for some possible Christmas gifts to bring back to Canada for Christmas, but didn't have a lot of luck. I did however by a scarf for my mom (and a pre-christmas gift scarf for myself, it is warm, wooly, navy blue and plaid; my favourite things). And guess who I passed while walking down the street!? Starbucks, looking all tempting and full of chai tea lattes. So of course I entered, and bought one for myself. Even after my craving earlier in the week with the cupcakes I had no time to splurge on one, so this one tasted even more beautiful. It was Christmas in my mouth. Spicy, warm and exactly what I needed. Most of the tables were full, so I said to myself, no worries, I will take this cup of cosy with me while running my errands. This was a mistake. Never have I received so many anti-tourist glares from Parisiens. Never. Even on my trotinette, even speaking English loudly with my friends on the metro, even hanging out with a group of French people and foring them to speak English because my French was so terrible! Even then, it was accepted. But walking down the streets of Paris with a to-go coffee on hand, that is unacceptable. The French are so keen on sipping away on their coffees for hours, or atleast downing their espresso at the bar. They even carry around meter long baguettes, carelessly taking bites off the end of it. And these things are both completely acceptable? But not my coffee carrying? Maybe they were even more offended because I was dressed quite Parisien that day.
In the end, I didn't care, I happily sipped my coffee all the way from boulevard Sebastopol almost to Place Concorde.

It was a pleasent afternoon, really.

Later that evening I went out for some drinks and dinner with my boyfriend and his 6 other friends. It was actually a very enjoyable night, me being the only girl amongst 6 French guys. The night began at Chez George for a few glasses of wine. We then migrated a few streets away to El sol et Luna, a Mexican restuarant where I had an avacado quasadila and we all shared pitchers of margarita. After dinner we then found ourselves at a cosy bar with French musicians singing classic English music.... their adorable French accents singing anything from Radiohead to Pink Floyd. At this bar we switched to beer.
It was a very fun night, and I spoke French almost the entire time!! The night began at 6:30 and we didn't arrive home until after 2.
This morning when I woke up my stomach was quite disappointed with me for the assortment of foods and drinks I consumed that past night: wine, quasadila, margarita, beer.

cupcakes & flill

Flill
is a word that just came into my head today. It doesn't mean anything but I just thought the word. That happens to me sometimes, is that weird? Probably. So I searched the word on Google and found this. This is such a good idea, if only it worked. I was really excited when I first realized what it was, but was then disappointed to find that it wasn't very entertaining. If I ever happen to find myself with some spare time after completing my long life list of things to do, then I will create a much better version of this idea. Flillustrator.

In other news, prepare yourself when looking at the following photos and recipe. If you happen to like chai as much as I do, then you will probably be baking these sometime this week. Or atleast craving a chai latte, or chai tea. A nice frothy creamy chai latte sounds delightful right now, but in Paris, those are few and far between. And by that I mean, I suppose I will make a quick stop at Starbucks tomorrow. Shame on me, but this is a chai-emergency.

I have just found the most delicious website. A website entirely of everything cupcakes. I have always loved cupcakes. The shape, the taste, the creativity; a perfect little personal dessert. If you don't like sharing your desserts, then cupcakes are the ideal dessert. I don't mind sharing. When I make these I will definitely be sharing.... if I can manage the recipe.

Chai Spice Mix

2 teaspoons fennel, whole
2 teaspoons cloves, whole
1 tablespoon cardamom, ground
2 teaspoons cinnamon, ground
2 teaspoons ginger, ground

1. With a small food processor, grind up the whole fennel and cloves.
2. Transfer to a small bowl and add remaining spices. Mix to combine.


Chocolate Chai Spice Cupcakes
24 regular cupcakes / 350 degree oven

200 gram bar of Valrhona 61% cacao
3 sticks butter
2-1/4 cups sugar
8 eggs
1-1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder, unsweetened
1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
3 teaspoons chai spice mix
pinch of salt

1. Chop chocolate and transfer into the bowl of a standing mixer.
2. Add butter to the chocolate and place the bowl over a pan of simmering water. Stir until chocolate melts and butter is combined.
3. Remove from heat and stir in sugar. Let mixture cool for 10 minutes.
4. Beat in an electric mixer for 3 minutes.
5. Add one egg at a time, mixing for 30 seconds between each
6. Sift the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, chai spice mix, and a pinch of salt into the mixture and mix until blended.
7. Scoop into cupcake cups and bake at 350 F for 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.


Chai Spice Buttercream Frosting

1 cup (2 sticks) butter
4-5 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1/4 cup milk
2 teaspoons chai spice mix
2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger

1. Beat butter until creamy, scrape bowl.
2. Add 4 cups of sifted powdered sugar, milk, spice mix, and ginger. Beat until combined.
3. Add more powdered sugar as needed to get piping consistency.

Note: Everyone's personal preferences differ. With frosting, the flavor is up to you. If you are unsure of how much of a chai flavor you want, start light on the spices and add a teaspoon at a time until you get to a flavor you like. Same goes for the sugar. It's a matter of taste and what consistency you want to work with. Experiment until you get at what works for you.

Thank you Chockylit for the lovely photos and the recipes.

All this talk about cupcakes reminds me of muffins, which reminds me of muffinfilms. My best friends and I were obsessed with that site all through high school. One friend and I went as far as basing our final assignment in communication technology course on "Muffin Woman". A feminist muffin who saves the day. I wish I still had that video. Also in high school another friend and I made "spinach-feta muffins" in cooking class. I will try and find that recipe another time. It is 2:05am and I have been typing about muffins and cupcakes for far too long. Bonne nuit.

300 year old cemetaries do not scare me

When you are running low on cash, and it is an over-cast dark Saturday afternoon why not spend the day in a 300 year old cemetary? Père Lachaise is the largest cemetary in Paris, hosting some famous graves such as Jim Morrison, Oscar Wilde, Eugene Delacroix, Edith Piaf, Honore de Balzac.... the list goes on. Is it strange that I find myself very relaxed and in a very pleasent mood when I spend a couple hours in this grim place? Maybe it is, but I don't think I am the only one. I went there a couple of times in the summer and I would always find a few people sitting on the benches and reading. I prefer to just walk down the winding paths observing. It is not your average cemetary, it is actually very beautiful and so big that I am scared of getting lost and then being locked in at night.

you like that song, don't you?

Yes, I like all 4 of those songs.
There is something about French 80's music that intrigues me. I have always enjoyed 80's music, but it was never my favourite. But apparently French 80's is my new music preference this month. I'm sure this obsession won't last long.

In other news, Valentin is growing so fast! I didn't see les enfants for almost 2 weeks because they were on vacation, which meant I was also. He is 2yrs and 3months, and is no longer a baby, but a little boy now. He is talking; normally his own made-up language, but occasionally he'll throw in a French word, or repeat me when I say a funny word in English. He likes when I say "bye-bye", and is always repeating that. The other day I was pushing him in his stroller, and he was holding his winnie the pooh stuffed animal, speaking loudly about nothing in particular to the" dou-dou" (French for stuffed toy, or favourite child belonging) as we are walking down the sidewalk. I am crossing the road, and suddenly he throws the animal roughly onto the street and yells loud and proud, "BYE-BYE DOU-DOU!!!!". He also proceeded to remove his little running shoes from his feet 3 times and chuck those on the groud as well during the stroll. I didn't notice until I was a block past. Basically the entire stroll was just me bending down and picking things up. Good thing is super cute.

rearranging on a rainy day

There are so many things that should be keeping me occupied, but the weather right now is annoying. it is preventing any outdoor strolling, which is normally what I do when I have no spending money, and most of my friends are working, and I have the day off. I prefer to not spend my spare time in my room because it is basically a bed and computer, with a few art supplies. I end up wasting time getting lost on the www and then after regretting it. Or I find my bed, and a book and get lost for 2 hours doing that. Occasionally I will get out my box of crafts and see what magic I can work with my scissors.

Today the weather is gloomy and I'm just really not feeling super inspired. I was planning on going to the Musee D'Orsay today for some sketching, but it is closed on Mondays. (As well as many of the galleries in Paris today). I was out this afternoon until around 3. I needed a new turtleneck with a neck that didn't strangle me. So I found a gray sweatery kind of one for pas très cher. There was a sale in the store that was buy one pull and the 2nd is 50% off. I wasn't a very hard customer to convince. I found a thin navy blue over-the-head knit, with a cute little design around the neck. (i just tried to spell neck with a k: kneck, I sincerely thought it was spelled like that at the moment. Thank you spell check.) Anyway, I was pleased with my little purchases. I returned home, as it was beginning to rain a bit, and that damn buy 1 get the second 50% off sale took my last 15 euros I had with me. I think I was doing a better job saving money before I could understand sales-people. Once home I decided today was the day I would finally put my room in order. Last week we removed the wardrobe from my room, and replaced it with a 3 drawer dress, and a portant vetements (clothes hanger thingy - I can't remember the word in English). The bed is now on the opposite side of my (almost) 1-square meter room. This required some rearranging, which also required me emptying almost all of my belongings into the corridor to make room for the moving of the bed etc.... and now I am stuck with trying to find my bed before I go to bed every night. I am having layout issues. I have been rearranging my room literally since the age of 6. I would lock myself in my room for a couple of hours, and use all my strength I could muster at the age of 6 and push my furniture around until I was content with the new arrangement. Unfortunately this room is so small there are very few options for creativity. It is almost in order, and I will post photos soon.

peuf

Last night I went to the China Club* with 4 others. The China club is a three-story jazz bar/resto in Paris. The main floor is a beautiful restaurant decked out in deep reds and shiny black.... it is classy. Beautiful leather sofas sitting across from each other that can fit 3 or 4, with a table in between for dining. This I have yet to do though, because I think I must make a reservation well in advance. The basement is almost as beautiful, with a stage in the corner, for free live music that I assumed was playing every night....but last night, no music. On the top floor is an extension of the restaurant now, but used to be a cigar room (before the law was made just last January 08 that smoking was prohibited indoors in France). Cigar room! I imagine men sitting around in fancy suits, peut-etre even in fancy red robes with ascots smoking their cigars while speaking of politics and trying to be polite. Anyway.... I didn't really eat dinner last night so those 3 glasses of wine last night felt more like 5. And of course, the night ended up with me and one friend at Macdonald's at 2am. I got a happy meal, with apple sauce for dessert.

*The website claims that the China Club is closing down, but the website has not date set, and every time I go, it is still open. I think it's a joke.

These are some photos from last Sunday's flea market scavenging.

petite bulle inconsolable

Here is one of those lames quizzes that I normally make fun of people for taking the time to do. Well, now I am going to be one of those lame people who take the time to do it.

Nine Things About Yourself:

1. Almost every emotion I have is directly connected to my tear-ducts. And for me, crying is therapeutic.
   
2. I hate confrontation, and try to avoid arguments.
3. I am never on time.
4. I love to love and be loved.
5. My passion is making things by hand; being crafty. Cut and paste!
6. My mood is highly effected by those around me. Even by the emotions of films and people in novels.
7. I like to do anything and everything that is cozy.
8. I live in Paris, France! And will never be tired of red wine.
   
9. I carry a notebook with me.... always and everywhere. I feel lost and naked if I don't have it with me. It carries whatever information my brain might forget. Ideas, thoughts, important things....

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:

1. This question is lame

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:

1. Do I have my notebook, keys and cellphone with me? k, good.
2. What do I want to be when I grow-up? fuck, I am grown-up.
3. How can I stay in France without being here illegally?
4. I am hungry.
5. Having a vision of an imaginary possibly non-existent piece of clothing, and convincing myself to either find it, or sew it myself because it is so beautiful.
6. Feeling like there is something I have forgotten to do.
7. Looking around me and realizing how lucky I am to be living in Paris!

Six Things That You Want To Do Before You Die:

1. Another lame question. I am just living and enjoying the moment. With some planning for the future here and there.
   

Five Turn Offs:

1. Buying me a yellow rose at the bar.
2. Buying me a yellow rose at the bar.
3. Buying me a yellow rose at the bar.
4. Buying me a yellow rose at the bar.
5. Buying me a yellow rose at the bar.

Four Turn Ons:

1. Not buying me a yellow rose at the bar
2. Not buying me a yellow rose at the bar
3. Not buying me a yellow rose at the bar
4. Not buying me a yellow rose at the bar

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:

1. 69
2. :D
3. ] ./Xk)
4. ps. I am making fun of this question

Two Things That Make You Cry:
*Please refer to " Nine Things About Yourself", number 1.

One Confession:

Last weekend I pocketed something worth 4 euros from the flea market. The lady at the stall was not letting me haggle! I would have felt guilty, but last time I bought a pair of shit frames for 20 euros! I think it's fair.

The end! The questionnaire continues tomorrow! Youpi!

I just saw the trailer for the movie based on the novel "Twilight". I shouldn't be as excited as I am. But I can not wait to see this!

mon photo

hazeldisco

The potential new name of my blog. For now though, it will remain the header of my blog and I will see if I still like it in a few weeks. Hazel and disco are two of my favourite words.
The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines them as:

Hazel

1 : any of a genus (Corylus and especially the American C. americana and the European C. avellana) of shrubs or small trees of the birch family bearing nuts enclosed in a leafy involucre 2 : a light brown to strong yellowish brown

Disco

1 : a nightclub for dancing to live and recorded music
2 : popular dance music characterized by hypnotic rhythm, repetitive lyrics, and electronically produced sounds

Two completely unrelated words. This is the first time I have looked up the definitions of either word. Perhaps I am contradicting my previous post titled "your hair is curly, my eyes are hazel". I have always assumed that my greenish brown eyes were considered hazel, but now I am not sure. Based on this definition I would say my eyes are neither light brown or strong yellowish brown.


Also, I can't stop listening to this song "Polaroid Roman Photo", by Ruth, or any French underground 80's music for that matter. But this song in particular....génial! I have been waiting for a song like this for so long. It's been a couple months now since I'd heard a song that I couldn't stop listening to.

your hair is curly, and my eyes are hazel

Bassin D'Arcachon
Taussat

This post doesn't need words; these photos perfectly describe my relaxing weekend I spent in the South of France.

reflections of an english-face living in paris: lesson 1

I have been in Paris, France now for 6 months. Holy merde! This means I have survived the perils of being an English face among the French faces for half of one year. Which has not been easy some times, so I will give myself a little pat on the back. This also means that I only have 6 months left until my Visa is an asshole and tells me that I have to return to Canada. This, I am dreading. Even though I knew after 1 month here that 1 year was not enough. To make things clear, to the few people that read this, I love Canada. Please do not confuse my extreme love for Paris, as hatred for Canada. I love my country, and am proud to be Canadian (woahhhh fromage, I know), and I also love France, so.... naturally duel-citizenship would be the perfect solution!

Life in Paris for me did take some getting used to at first, and I'm sure there are more surprises to come.

#1: People-watching
Parisian's give a whole new definition to this simple care-free hobby that we Canadians partake in every so often; some more than others. Nothing serious though. I never notice myself being watched unless I'm walking alone. The first time I experienced it, I thought maybe I had bird shit on me, or my fly was open, or I had a bit of food on my face. I was surveyed by everyone; people sitting on a patio cafe, people walking past me. I sometimes even be checked out completely, head to toe.... men and women. I was becoming paranoid and almost worried, so I kept glancing in the reflection of the shop windows. Nothing. I looked completely normal. This continued though, and I was no longer paranoid, and thought maybe people were admiring me.... I guess my hair did look extra nice today, or maybe its the new lipstick colour? But no, this wasn't it either. In reality, the French just love to people watch. They will look you up and down, maybe even talk about you with their friends in a cafe as you pass. Sometimes nice things, and sometimes....because to be honest, I've found myself to be doing it now too. People-watching is definitely part of the French culture.
I think a more fitting term for people-watching Parisian style would be .... "People Scrutinizing" maybe?

In other news I am back from the South of France....and am almost completely rejuvenated. Exactly the amount of relaxation I needed. And also, was my first time hitch-hiking! Only one beautiful warm day of sunshine, but it was a wonderful trip nonetheless. I did a lot of thinking, and reflecting, and talking about my options for staying in France for atleast another year. And I have officially decided that after my return from the holiday, it is time for research. I will not rest until I have found a solution to extending my stay here!