je suis artiste!

ou pas....

I don't know if I am an artist. What is the line between artist, and not artist? Is there even a line? I think if you enjoy being creative and making art (even if it is lousy) you are an artist. Voila, mon définition d'artiste. C'est bizarre, maintenant je pense en anglais et français, mais je me trouve ni français, ni anglais. So as I am typing whatever comes to my mind this post may be a mixture of languages; probably just english and french. I just received a big box of art supplies that my lovely mother sent from home! I was soooo excited! In the box were all of my old drafting supplies (which I'm not sure I'll need right now, but always nice to have!), a big tin of art pencils, aquarells, my jewelry supplies, fabric, oil pastels (chalk pastels make me cringe!!!!), and pencil crayons (2 tins)! As well as some non artsy things; 2 sticks of burt's bees lip chap (but with a bit of colour - I love it!), a pretty scarf, a scientific calculater (?? not sure if my mom actually meant to send that one....), earrings, and chewing gum! Youpiiiii!



That is what I have in my sketch book so far.... feed back please!! I know I need to add so much more still to my portfolio....not just sketches, but real projects! Suggestions are welcome! Give me assignments to help motivate me.

I soon have to apply to art schools here, so the pressure is really on! I'm also getting excited to enter back into the art world and leaving this boring wannabe art world of art history (no offence....). I actually really do love art history, but definitely as a hobby / interest....not a career, nit 5 years of studies.

Music I am listening to at the moment: Beach House, The XX, Neon Indian, and the new album of Vampire weekend.

Love you, bye

motivate me

I haven't blogged in a couple of months now it seems. I'm feeling a little lost these days, maybe blogging will help a bit.

Today it is cold, and was snowing a bit (I haven't even gone outside yet). Yesterday was cold and snowed a lot. The day before that it was super cold, and didn't snow. The sky was blue for about a half hour yesterday. It was so inspiring. I kept looking outside at it every few seconds while I sat rummaging throught papers at my desk by the window. The blue of the sky looked so nice against the blue flower boxes of the apartment across from mine. There is a leafy hedge that is still green beside the apartment. The building is kind of a creamy colour, but against the sky it looked yellow. I made a square with my hands like you do when you imagine how a scene would look as a photograph. I blocked out the snow and leafless trees, and my little square I saw spring and summer. It was beautiful. But didn't last, it quickly turned grey again. One of my good French friends asked me yesterday if I was still feeling lost, still searching for what it is I want in life. (this corresponds with a conversation we had a week ago over dinner). My answer was no. Sometimes things seemed more clear than other times.... but no, I'm still searching. I replied to him "je préfère d'etre perdue à Paris qu'à Toronto". I miss my family and friends back home so much. I want support. I want to go out for sushi with my friends and find out what they did this week, or last week, or last year :(. I want to go spend a weekend at my parents and let them give me good advice and tell me how much they love me, and just sit with my sister and take comfort in knowing that we will always be there for eachother no matter what. I miss being with my bestfriends and crying together about things that make us sad in life. I guess I am homesick. I am feeling so lost in life at the moment. I always feel stresssed when I have to choose a career, what I will study etc. I think part of my fear is that once I study, and graduate and find a job, the search will be over. As much as I hate the fact of being 22 and having studied 3 seperate times, and yet have no diploma to show, I think I secretly enjoy this. I must deep down take pleasure in this search for my wants and needs and ambitions in life. I think part of it also has to do with the fact that I find it all a little bit....stupid. I sometimes can't believe what us wonderful yet confused human beings are doing with our lives! A person who spends their life doing nothing in particular; taking photos, selling flowers on the street, never growing up....we may call them reckless, or lazy.....but I call it beautiful. I sometimes dream about the simplicity of living in a more traditional place, where working in a rice field is life. Where your family and loved ones come before everything. There are people who save lives for a living.....and I'm studying art history. I feel terrible when I think about that. Who am I helping? Art is beautiful and evokes emotions, and can teach us things about the past. I agree with all of this....but, it's not for me. I like to think about the present, the future.... I am going to apply to some public art schools for graphic design in Paris. Maybe some programs related to tourism, hotels, teaching english, culinary arts.... oh, another part of my problem is that too many things interest me. And Paris is so inspiring that I am so often finding something new that interests me.

médaille d'or svp

This week was an accomplished week. I have no wonderful tales to tell of a glamorous life in Paris. This was a week spent working. Monday I gave my first presentation in French. I can't even begin to explain how nervous I was before. Even compared to all of those years spent in musical theatre and various singing competitions, nothing can compare the my fear on monday. I can't pinpoint exactly what I was so scared of.... maybe the fact it was in French, or that I was afraid I reserached something incorrectly, or I wouldn't speak loud enough, or no one would understand because of my thick accent. Probably a combination. Anyway, I don't feel exceptionally confident, but I do feel satisfied knowing I did the best I could. (personal pep talk.... I'll pat myself on the back now too I suppose.)
Friday I handed in a paper about the position of Spain in Europe and in war in the 1600's.
And saturday I finished (one day late) my first essay written in French, on "how to define the works of Véronèse".
I would really like a trophy, but I will settle for a passing grade.

ants in my pants, so i'm gunna dance.

Two posts in one day. I haven't blogged in well over a month, so I hope this makes up for it a bit. I could have just made one post today, but then it would have been too long and random.

Here is some music that is 100 percent dance-able. Perfect for turning up loud and cooking dinner to, while dancing at the same time. Perfect for dancing home alone. Perfect for parties. The group is called Caravan Palace.

More songs found here.

Happy Hallowe'en by the way. I sure had a great one. It was such a last minute halloween for me. I usually plan the costume well in advance, but this year it was 2 hours before the party. I was a flapper. Woah original. Calm down. But apparently European's can't identify flappers very easily. I got responses like:

"Oh!!!! Pochahontas!!"

"That actress from the united states! The one from the 70's right?!"

Anyway, that doesn't matter. It's not their fault, Hallowe'en is really under-celebrated in France. It's too bad really.

I was thinking the other day, how I'm sure my parents stole so much of my halloween candy when I was a kid. Seriously I would bring home atleast one pillow case full of candy, there is no way I could ever eat all of it alone. So I am certain that parents take your candy when you are not there, or at school, or asleep. But that's fine, really, I am certainly going to do it too.

I find it hard to believe this is a real plant..... it is called "Dolls Eyes".
Those "eyes" are berries....appartently. Creepy. But I want one.

phone-etics

hullo wurld.

Two random notes on language for you today:

I wuz thinking thuh other day abouwt spelleeng wurds how they sownd. Juring a lektcher at skool there will off-tin bee wurds the teecher will say (in french) that I will not no the meeneeng uv ore how 2 spell. So I reelie on thuh phonetic sownd of thuh wurd and rite it how it sownds. I check layter 4 thuh definishun and sumtimes kant eeven find it.

I am taking a Spanish course at school, and am of course in the level "grand debutant", as I have never learned Spanish in my life. It can become a bit tiring when doing homework to look up every word in a sentance because I really have no idea what it is. So, I result to google translate. And sometimes google translate is a nice guy, but other times he is an asshole. Like especially when I should have left the house 5 minutes earlier, but had to finish the assignment. Of course he is an asshole then. This exercise I was trying to complete last minute was one of those connect the first part of the sentence on the left to the end of a sentence on the right.

I just typed each sentence into the translater and running late, scrambling to finish, this is what I got:

1st half of sentence 2nd half of sentence

these glasses are - whose father talks to you
that's it girl - this is the bed
that dog is - is that I bought for the savannas
I want to see - like the one I was a kid
I have friends here - Bohemian Crystal

That is not my attempt at matching them, its just how they were arranged in the exercise.

stud+io=studio, and i have one in Paris

hello!!!!

I have moved back to Paris, that lovely city where I live. AND I have a studio. My very own place in the city. It is 17m squared, with a mezzanine and a beautiful big window that goes directly onto a private garden for me (if I climb through the window....). It is kind of in rough shape and needs some paint and some love from me but other than that it is parfait! The neighbourhood is lovely too. Exactly where I wanted to be, I'm just by Belleville and Rue des Pyrénées. While walking along Rue Des Pyrénées today I saw the most beautiful street I have ever seen. I don't want to give too many details because it is just so sacred. I can't wait to go back and dream about living in one of the houses on the street. My mouth actually watered and I think my eyes may have teared when I imagined myself having an apartment there. Through the streets of Paris, hidden behind shops and your typical Haussmann apartment you can find secret streets that actually have little houses. Houses in Paris are not easy to find, and when someone told me they existed I didn't believe. But I have seen and I believe and I want. This street that I saw was narrow and had houses at the front just basically touching the street, each with distinct gates and apartments about 3 stories high just behind the house. I apologized to my boyfriend, because I had fallen in love with a street. Apparently the houses and apartments are filled with artists, which is clear just from looking from the street.

This photo does no justice for how nice it is. Use your imagination. It was the only one I could find.

But, an apartment there will not be mine until university is finished and I have a real job with hopefully big pay cheques. And in the mean time I will love and care for my new studio.